Sunday, August 28, 2005

ER ADMITS

One of my favorite things to do from time to time is to check the list of ER admittees and see what their presenting complaint was when they walk in. They run the gamut from the tragic to the ridiculous. There's the prosaic: cut finger, high creatine count, fell down escalators, neck pain, severe cramping, the omnipresent chest pains (or CP), the omnipresent shortness of breath (or SOB [an acronym, I might add, that caused me no small amount of confusion until I figured it out]), toenail injury, medical evaluation due to chemical exposure, "might be danger to others," migraine. There's the tragic, the more severe the condition the more terse the description: MVC (motor vehicle collision), GSW (gun shot wound), or simply 'trauma.'

Then there are the ones we chaplains like: the ridiculous ones. Somebody walks in, the secretary or charge nurse asks them what the problem is, and they reply, and their reply, sometimes verbatim, sometimes subject to the staffer's interpretation is inscribed in the hospital database forever. These ones are, well, creative: fell on butt, bit by badger, someone named "stryder aragorn" complaining of mental status changes, insect bites, 'anxious,' cat bite, anxiety, testicular discomfort, and--since we're in that vein--my personal all-time favorite, "my stuff is messed up." Finally, of course, there's the catch-all: 'I feel bad." Ladies and gentlemen, human ingenuity.

3 Comments:

Blogger Apostle John said...

I'll have to remember to be creative if I ever have to be admitted to the ER :)

5:29 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

You doing this blog thing anymore?

12:16 PM  
Blogger abigail said...

Bro, even if it only says something like "Abby Visco is awesome"...update the blog...miss it.

2:42 AM  

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